The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

For most of human history, we only had one way to talk to one another: our voices. Today, we have more ways to communicate than ever before. We can text, call, send a video message, reach out over social media, et cetera. And we often choose whichever option seems easiest or least awkward. But research suggests that how we choose to communicate matters much more than we realize and can have a surprising impact on how well we understand one another and how connected we feel. In a live conversation recorded at the World Happiness Summit at SXSW, Dr. Laurie speaks with psychologist Nick Epley about the common mistakes we make when communicating in the modern world — and the small changes that could help us connect more meaningfully with the people around us. His new book, A Little More Social, is available now. Experts Mentioned: Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Bronisław Malinowski, Polish anthropologist and ethnologist Resources Mentioned: A…

As we move through our busy lives, it’s easy to stop noticing the tiny, beautiful things all around us. But rediscovering the sense of wonder we had as children might not only bring us more joy — it could also help us better navigate life’s hardest moments. Dr. Laurie explores that idea with traveling philosopher and former NPR correspondent Eric Weiner, author of The Socrates Express: In Search of Life Lessons from Dead Philosophers. Eric shares what he’s learned from walking in the footsteps of Henry David Thoreau, including how the 19th-century philosopher can help us live better in the modern day and see beauty in the things we usually overlook. Experts Mentioned: Eric Weiner, journalist, author, and philosophical traveler Henry David Thoreau, 19th-century American philosopher, poet, environmental scientist, and political activist Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus, ancient Greek philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, 19th-century German philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th-century essayist, poet,…

When we’re exhausted, overworked, or just going through a difficult time, our instinct is often to put our heads down and simply focus on getting through it. But those serious moments may actually be when we benefit from a little silliness and absurdity the most. Laurie explores the science of humor with comedian Chris Duffy, host of How to Be a Better Human and author of the new book Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy. Chris shares what he’s learned about how to find humor in almost any situation — and how embracing the funny can improve our wellbeing in surprising ways. Experts Mentioned: Chris Duffy, comedian, author, and host of How to Be a Better Human E. B. White, writer and essayist Mimi M.Y. Tse, Assistant Professor at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University Ross Gay, poet, essayist, and Professor of English at Indiana University Annie Rauwerda, creator of “Depths of Wikipedia” Aparna Nancherla, comedian and author Greg Bryant, Professor of Communication at…

Today we're sharing author Eric Zimmer’s interview with Dr. Laurie on The One You Feed podcast. In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos discusses the importance of taking small steps to happiness and the science of mindful living. She reminds us that happiness is not a destination, but a practice. By understanding the science behind well-being and implementing small, consistent changes, we can learn how to apply these insights to our own lives to find greater joy and fulfillment. Key Takeaways: Embrace the power of small, consistent actions in shaping our happiness Understand how our environment and social connections influence our behavior Learn the common misconceptions about what truly makes us happy Discover strategies for overcoming loneliness and building meaningful connections If you like what you hear, find The One You Feed wherever you get podcasts. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us are familiar with this frustrating pattern: you set a goal, start off strong, but then lose motivation and end up right back at square one. Why does it seem so hard to change — even when you have a plan in place? Turns out, you may be aiming too high, too soon. Laurie breaks down the science behind this pattern with Eric Zimmer, host of the award-winning podcast “The One You Feed” and author of the new book How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. Eric spent years struggling to overcome a heroin addiction before eventually turning his life around. He explains why lasting change often comes from making consistent progress in the right direction rather than attempting one dramatic transformation, and shares what he’s learned about building momentum, overcoming setbacks, and finally reaching the goals we’ve been striving for. Experts Mentioned: Eric Zimmer, author and host of “The One You Feed” Steven Pressfield, author Resources Mentioned: How A Little Becomes…

Your brain is changing all the time, whether you realize it or not. Everything from your hobbies and chores to the media you consume can physically shape it. So how can you make sure it’s changing in ways that actually serve you? Laurie speaks with neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson, whose decades of work with the Dalai Lama helped pioneer the scientific study of meditation. Drawing on research with Buddhist monks, stressed-out school teachers, and others, Richie explains why psychological flourishing is a skill we can train, and how simple practices involving awareness, connection, insight, and purpose can help us become more resilient, focused, and fulfilled. His new book, Born to Flourish, is out now. Experts Mentioned: Richard Davidson, Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry and Founder and Director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison Cortland Dahl, Contemplative Scientist at the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison 14th Dalai Lama, spiritual…

When we’re struggling to reach a goal, most of us assume the answer is to buckle down and try harder. But what if all that white-knuckling is actually making things more difficult than they need to be? Dr. Laurie speaks with psychologist Angela Duckworth, best known for her groundbreaking work on grit, about a surprising new approach to achievement. In her new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, Angela explains why changing what’s around us can sometimes be more effective than trying to change ourselves. Experts Mentioned: Angela Duckworth, Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania Lee Ross, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University Richard Nisbett, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Michigan James Gross, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University Adrian Ward, Associate Professor of Marketing at University of Texas at Austin Joseph Henrich, Professor of Biological Anthropology and Professor of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard…

It’s hard to focus on wellbeing when we’re expected to work nonstop until retirement. Taking a break from time to time should be a given, not a privilege. Dr. Laurie works in one of the few industries that recognizes the importance of extended time off. As she begins her own year-long sabbatical from Yale, we’re revisiting her conversation with DJ DiDonna, author of Big Time Off, about what can happen when we step away from work for more than just a vacation. DJ breaks down how to manage the biggest barriers to taking a sabbatical, from money and workplace optics to family responsibilities. He also explains why extended time off can help us recover from burnout, rethink our routines, and experiment with different versions of ourselves. Whether you’re contemplating months away or just fantasizing about turning off your email, this episode makes the case that sometimes the best way to move forward is to stop for a while. Experts Mentioned: DJ DiDonna, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration at Harvard…

Most of us hate asking for favors. We worry about being a burden, coming across as needy, or facing rejection for asking too much. But what if our fear of bothering people is stopping us, and the people around us, from becoming happier? Dr. Laurie explores why our instincts about asking for help are usually wrong. She speaks with psychologist Nicholas Epley about why asking others for help can actually make them like us more. And author and entrepreneur Jia Jiang shares how 100 days of asking for outlandish favors totally transformed his life. Experts Mentioned: Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Jia Jiang, author, entrepreneur, and expert in “rejection therapy” Resources Mentioned: Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection, by Jia Jiang (2015) “What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection,” by Jia Jiang (TED, 2016) “100 Days of Rejection Therapy,” by Jia Jiang (YouTube series, 2013)…

In recent years, we've heard a lot of unsettling news about the loneliness epidemic and the dangers of social isolation. But could all this talk about loneliness paradoxically be making the problem... worse? Dr. Laurie unpacks what we get wrong about loneliness. Along the way, she speaks with historian Fay Bound-Alberti about why loneliness, as we think of it today, is a surprisingly modern phenomenon. Psychologist Micaela Rodriguez explains why we often confuse loneliness with being alone — and why learning to enjoy solitude can actually make us less lonely. And writer Emma Gannon shares practical tips for embracing the joy of your own company. Laurie discovers why spending time alone is a skill, and how getting better at it can help us regulate our emotions, spark creativity, and strengthen our connections with others. Experts Mentioned: Vivek Murthy, 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States Fay Bound-Alberti, Professor of Modern History at King’s College London Micaela Rodriguez, Assistant…

What would it take to make you happier? A raise? A promotion? Getting into your dream school? Winning the lottery? It turns out that we’re surprisingly bad at predicting how these events will actually make us feel. When they do make us happier, research shows that the highs won’t last as long as we expect. The good news is that the lows won't last as long as we expect either. We're just as bad at predicting how life's setbacks will affect us. Dr. Laurie speaks with Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert about why our minds exaggerate the emotional impact of life’s biggest events. She also hears from psychotherapist Clay Cockrell about why extreme wealth often comes with misery, and from writer Rafaella Gunz and Army veteran J.R. Martinez about their journeys toward happiness and meaning after experiences they once thought would ruin their lives. Experts Mentioned: Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Harvard University Clay Cockrell, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Psychotherapist Daniel Kahneman,…

Men today are spending less time with friends, and many have no close friendships at all. Research shows that this lack of social connection can lead to serious long-term consequences for men's mental and physical health. The answer isn’t just more social interaction. Guys need something deeper: bromance. Dr. Laurie speaks with actor, director, and author Andrew McCarthy about his book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, and what he learned after reconnecting with the men who shaped his life. She also talks with Harvard behavioral scientist Todd Rogers about why sports fandom can be a surprisingly powerful way for men to build deeper relationships. Experts Mentioned: Andrew McCarthy, actor, director, and author Todd Rogers, Professor of Public Policy at Harvard Kennedy School Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience and Director of the Social Connection & Health Lab at Brigham Young University Michael Norton, Professor of Business…

Most of us default to small talk. It's polite, familiar, and feels like the safest way to start a conversation. But it may also be one of the biggest barriers to genuine connection. Dr. Laurie speaks with author and metal-health advocate Claire Eastham about her month-long experiment replacing small talk with deeper conversations while living with social anxiety. She also chats with psychologist Nicholas Epley about why going deeper often scares us, what research reveals about opening up, and what happens when you tell a stranger about the last time you cried. Experts Mentioned: Claire Eastham, author, blogger, and mental-health advocate Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Arthur Aron, Professor of Psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook Elaine Aron, psychologist and author Resources Mentioned: We're All Mad Here: The No-Nonsense Guide to Living with…

In this special live episode, Dr. Laurie takes the stage at Dartmouth College for a conversation with happiness historian Darrin McMahon. Together, they break down some of the biggest misconceptions about happiness in modern life, discuss the most effective (and often counterintuitive) ways to improve our wellbeing, and explore how smartphones, AI, and other new technologies may shape happiness in the years ahead. Experts Mentioned: Darrin McMahon, Professor of History at Dartmouth College Martin Seligman, Professor of Psychology and Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania Lorraine Siggins, Director Emeritus of Mental Health and Counseling for Students at Yale Health Ashley Whillans, Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School Sonja Lyubomirsky, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside Carey Morewedge, Chair of the Marketing Department at Boston University’s Questrom School of Business Gabriele Oettingen, Professor…

The “pursuit of happiness” is one of America’s founding ideals. But what if chasing happiness is actually making us feel worse? In honor of the 250th anniversary of American independence, Dr. Laurie travels to Independence Hall in Philadelphia to explore what Thomas Jefferson and the founders really meant by “the pursuit of happiness” — and how that idea has changed over time. She speaks with historian Darrin McMahon and psychologist Iris Mauss about Americans’ unique relationship with happiness, why striving for it can sometimes backfire, and why the best path to a good life may involve focusing less on ourselves and more on other people. For more content about the Declaration of Independence, and what we get wrong about it, check out the new Pushkin show, First America. Find First America wherever you get podcasts. Experts Mentioned: Darrin McMahon, David W. Little Class of 1944 Professor of History at Dartmouth College Iris Mauss, Professor of Psychology at UC Berkeley and Director of the Emotion and…

We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy? In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink and Liz Fosslien. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future. If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back. Experts Mentioned: Daniel Pink, non-fiction author Liz Fosslien, author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions Mollie West Duffy, author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development Augusten Burroughs, author and memoirist Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer Resources…

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher Alexis Redding uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today. Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist Adam Mastroianni about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about “kids these days,” and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion. Experts Mentioned: Alexis Redding, developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education William Perry, professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education Adam Mastroianni, writer and social psychologist Nancy Hill, Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of…

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing. We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more. Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John, author of Revealing, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley, author of A Little More Social, about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust. Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information”…

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion? To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies. If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to? As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships. If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing. Experts Mentioned: Susan David, Harvard Medical School psychologist a Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy Resources Mentioned: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David (2016) Related Episodes: "How to Identify Your Negative Emotions" "Stepping Off the Path of…

Our beliefs shape more than we realize. They influence what we notice, how we respond to setbacks, how connected we feel to others, and whether we take action to improve our lives. As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with happiness expert Shawn Achor, author of The Power of Beliefs, to explore how our beliefs about time, work, relationships, and self-worth shape happiness, success, and long-term wellbeing. And if some of your beliefs are holding you back, Shawn shares practical ways to start shifting them. Plus, we learn one delightful fact about fireflies. Experts Mentioned: Shawn Achor, positive psychology researcher and author Richard Wiseman, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire Henry Beecher, anesthesiologist at Harvard Medical School who pioneered research on the placebo effect Resources Mentioned: The Power of Beliefs: How Strengthening Seven Core Beliefs Predicts Greater Success and a Better Life, by Shawn…

Struggling to find free time? Feeling constantly busy or burned out? This episode is for you. Dr. Laurie explores the science behind “time famine,” the nagging sense that there’s never enough time in the day. Writer Tom Hodgkinson, author of How to Be Idle, makes a provocative case that doing nothing (napping, daydreaming, even staring out the window) isn’t laziness, but a powerful path to greater happiness and creativity. Plus, Harvard professor Ashley Whillans explains why we keep prioritizing money over time and what that trade-off is really costing us. Experts Mentioned: Tom Hodgkinson, founder and editor of The Idler and author of How to Be Idle Ashley Whillans, Harvard Business School professor and author of Time Smart Cassie Mogilner, UCLA professor of marketing and behavioral decision making Michael I. Norton, Harvard Business School professor of business administration John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson, psychologists behind the Good Samaritan helping study. Resources Mentioned: The Idler, founded…

We hear a lot about how screens affect our mental health, but time spent on computers and smartphones is having just as much of an impact on our physical health — from brain fog and weakened core muscles to changes in our posture, our sleep, and even the shape of our eyes. As part of our series on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with journalist and podcast host Manoush Zomorodi, author of Body Electric, to explore how modern tech habits are affecting us physically, and what steps we can take to protect our health in a world where screens aren’t going away anytime soon. Experts Mentioned: Manoush Zomorodi, journalist, author, and host of NPR's TED Radio Hour Dr. Keith Diaz, exercise physiologist and Florence Irving Associate Professor of Behavioral Medicine at Columbia University Medical Center Dr. Maria Liu, Professor of Clinical Optometry at UC Berkeley and founder of the Myopia Control Clinic Dr. Rick Neitzel, Associate Professor of Environmental Health Sciences at the University of…

Buying something new can trigger a rush of dopamine, leading to a momentary boost in happiness. But the rush is fleeting, and over time, our possessions can end up weighing us down more than they lift us up. As part of our series on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie explores why material things so often fail to make us happier, and why experiences are usually a better investment in our long-term wellbeing. Along the way, she talks with psychologist Bruce Hood, researcher Amit Kumar, and writer Cait Flanders, who reflects on the psychological benefits of shifting from a maximalist lifestyle to a minimalist one. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s actually worth the time and effort to clean out your closet, this episode offers some answers. Experts Mentioned: Bruce Hood, professor of developmental psychology in society at the University of Bristol Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin Cait Flanders, author of The Year of Less and Adventures…

Our surroundings affect our happiness in ways we often don’t notice. The layout of a room, the amount of clutter in our home, and even small changes to lighting can shape our mood, focus, and relationships. As The Happiness Lab continues its spring cleaning series, Dr. Laurie sits down with University of Virginia Professor Leidy Klotz, author of In a Good Place, to explore the hidden ways our spaces shape our inner lives. Why do certain places make us feel calm, connected, and grounded, while others leave us distracted or drained? From creating more connection at home to using our surroundings to remember loved ones we’ve lost, these practical ideas will refresh your space and your wellbeing. Experts Mentioned: Leidy Klotz, professor of engineering and architecture at the University of Virginia Nelson Mandela, anti-apartheid activist and former president of South Africa Jane Jacobs, writer and urban activist Resources Mentioned: In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us…

Breaking bad habits often feels like a test of willpower. We tell ourselves we’ll stop scrolling, eat better, or exercise more — and then fall right back into the same routines. So why is lasting change so hard? As part of our spring cleaning series, we’re revisiting a powerful episode from The Happiness Lab archives that reveals a surprising truth about behavior change: it’s not about willpower at all. Dr. Laurie Santos sits down with psychologist Wendy Wood to explore what the science of habits really says about why we get stuck — and how we can finally change. Along the way, we hear the remarkable story of American soldiers in Vietnam who abruptly overcame heroin addiction after returning home, offering a powerful clue about how habits really work. If you’re looking to break a bad habit or build a better one, this episode shows how small changes to your environment can make lasting change feel almost automatic. Experts Mentioned: Wendy Wood, Provost Professor of Psychology and Business, University of…

Forgiveness might sound simple, but it's hard to let go of the anger that comes with being deeply hurt. Grudges, bitterness, and frustration with life’s unfairness can quietly build up over time and take a real toll on our mental and physical health. As The Happiness Lab kicks off a new season on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with psychologist Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, to explore what research says about forgiveness. Why is letting go of resentment so much harder than it sounds? And what does it really mean to forgive someone? Plus, we revisit a powerful story from the archives that shows what forgiveness can look like in the face of profound loss and why it might be the most radical act of self-care we can take. Experts Referenced: Dr. Fred Luskin, psychologist and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects Miroslav Volf, Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School and founder of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture Katy Milkman,…

Why is social media so hard to quit? We waste hours scrolling, feel worse when we log off, and still find ourselves going back for more. Dr. Laurie sits down with Dr. Cass Sunstein, co-author of (00:00:57) Nudge, to explore a new concept from the 2026 World Happiness Report: the “product trap.” Together, they unpack why we keep returning to platforms that make us unhappy — and what it might take to finally break free. Resources mentioned in this episode: Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness “World Happiness Report 2026” “The Problem of Social Cost” “Valuing Facebook” “The Welfare Effects of Social Media” “When Product Markets Become Collective Traps: The Case of Social Media” “Libertarian Paternalism Is Not an Oxymoron” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Over the past decade, rates of depression and loneliness have surged among young people. Many researchers point to one major change: the rise of smartphones and social media. But what does the data actually show? Psychologist Jean Twenge has spent years studying how technology shapes adolescent happiness. Dr. Laurie sits down with her to unpack new findings from the 2026 World Happiness Report on how social media use affects teen wellbeing around the world. What happens when kids spend hours a day on these platforms? Is any amount of social media actually beneficial? And what can we all do to build healthier relationships with our phones, regardless of age? Resources mentioned in this episode: “What is the International Day of Happiness?” “World Happiness Report 2026” iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?” “National Trends in the Prevalence and Treatment of Depression…

Work doesn’t end when the workday does. Even after we close our laptops, our minds keep replaying awkward meetings, looming deadlines, and unfinished to-do lists. Over time, that “always on” mentality can quietly hijack our relationships, our health, and our happiness. Dr. Laurie sits down with psychologist and bestselling author Guy Winch (Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life) to explore the science of work stress — and why so many of us get stuck in fight-or-flight mode long after we’ve left the office. Plus, Ben Walter, host of “The Unshakeables” and CEO of Chase for Business, shares what he’s learned from working with small business owners who don’t have the option to simply “clock out.” If you’ve ever felt like work is bleeding into everything, this episode offers science-based tools to help you take your life back. Resources mentioned in this episode: Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life "Burnout: A Review of Theory and Measurement" "The Relationship…

In Part 2 of Dr. Laurie’s conversation with researchers Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, we learn how couples can raise complaints without damaging their relationship — and how to respond constructively when a partner voices a concern. Their research shows that fighting doesn’t have to pull couples apart. When handled well, conflict can actually make relationships stronger. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this classic episode, Dr. Laurie speaks with two of the world’s most influential relationship scientists, Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman. In their renowned “Love Lab,” the married researchers have studied thousands of couples, identifying the subtle interaction patterns that predict whether partners will drift apart or stay happily together for decades. They join Dr. Laurie to share what we can learn from these “Masters of Relationships” — and how to build partnerships resilient enough to withstand life’s inevitable stresses and strains. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Modern dating can feel like a marketplace. We’re told we all have a “mate value,” that some people are 9s and 10s, and that the laws of evolution determine who gets chosen — and who gets rejected. But what if we’ve misunderstood what evolutionary science actually says about love? Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologist Dr. Paul Eastwick, author of Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection, to challenge some of the most pervasive myths about attraction and compatibility. Do dating app algorithms actually know who's right for you? Are we really all placed in different "leagues"? If you’ve ever wondered whether love is destiny, biology, or something you can actually create, Dr. Eastwick offers a surprising new perspective. Resources mentioned in this episode: Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection “The Pairing Game: A Classroom Demonstration of the Matching Phenomenon” “Matching for Attractiveness in Romantic Partners and Same-Sex Friends: A Meta-Analysis and…

Modern dating can feel exhausting. On one hand, there’s the seemingly endless swiping that leads to dating app burnout; on the other, there’s what can feel like the insurmountable challenge of meeting someone in real life. But what if finding love is less about fate — and more about strategy? Dr. Laurie sits down with behavioral scientist and dating coach Tim Molnar, author of Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance, to explore what the research really says about how to meet the right person, build genuine connection, and avoid common dating mistakes. Resources mentioned in this episode: Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance “Receptivity to Sexual Invitations from Strangers of the Opposite Gender” How to Bounce Back from Life’s Curveballs (with Dr. Maya Shankar) “Computations of Uncertainty Mediate Acute Stress Responses in Humans” “Implementation Intentions and Goal Achievement: A Meta-Analysis of Effects and Processes” “Forbes Health Survey: 78% Of All Users…

Most of us have people in our lives who love us — partners, friends, family — yet many of us still don’t feel as loved as we want to. Why is there such a gap between being loved and feeling loved? And what can we actually do about it? Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologists Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Harry Reis, co-authors of How to Feel Loved, to unpack the science behind this disconnect. They explain why feeling loved so often eludes us — even in close relationships — and share research-backed insights that can help us change the conversation, strengthen our connections, and feel more loved both now and in the relationships we build in the future. Resources mentioned in this episode: How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community" "Social Ties and Susceptibility to the Common Cold" "Toward Understanding Understanding: The Importance…

What does it mean to live a meaningful life? How do you find direction when you feel stuck or you’re unsure about your purpose? Dave Evans and Bill Burnett, co-founders of the Stanford Life Design Lab and authors of How to Live a Meaningful Life join Dr. Laurie to challenge our assumptions about where meaning really comes from. They share practical strategies from the world of design thinking to create a more purposeful and fulfilling life while making the most of your current circumstances. Resources mentioned in this episode: Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are "Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We often think creativity comes from sudden flashes of genius within us. But what if ideas actually exist in the world around us — waiting to be discovered and shaped by anyone paying attention? Creativity expert Dr. George Newman, author of How Great Ideas Happen, explains how anyone can become a creativity "archaeologist," uncovering innovative ideas while avoiding common myths about creativity that keep us stuck. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s easy to fixate on the usual markers of success — your resume, your net worth, or how “impressive” you seem on paper. But how much do those things really speak to our wellbeing? And what do we miss when we only focus on them? Author and cultural commentator David Brooks reflects on what he learned when he moved beyond ambition, and shares some practical ways to get unstuck. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life has a way of upending even our best-laid plans. Breakups, job losses, scary health diagnoses — these unexpected changes can leave us feeling stuck and uncertain about what comes next. Dr. Laurie speaks with her dear friend and former student, Dr. Maya Shankar, author of The Other Side of Change and host of A Slight Change of Plans, about how to navigate these major shifts, including practical tips for leaning into change instead of resisting it and reimagining the possible selves we can become in the new year. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of us spend our energy on things that aren’t worth it: projects, relationships, or goals that may feel important in the moment but ultimately leave us frustrated and drained. Dr. Diana Hill, clinical psychologist and author of Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, gives us a roadmap for applying our energy more effectively in the new year — so that our lives feel lighter, more purposeful, and energizing instead of exhausting. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What stresses you out over the festive season? Happiness Lab listeners sent in their holiday woes so Dr Laurie and guest Rainn Wilson (The Office star and host of Soul Boom) could weigh in with some science-backed advice. In the second part of our Holiday Survival Guide, Dr Laurie and Rainn discuss what makes the perfect gift, how to slow down to enjoy the festivities, and why your smart phone should join the elf on a shelf. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What stresses you out over the festive season? Happiness Lab listeners sent in their holiday woes so Dr Laurie and guest Rainn Wilson (The Office star and host of Soul Boom) could weigh in with some science-backed advice. In the first part of our Holiday Survival Guide, Dr Laurie and Rainn discuss ways to defuse family arguments, why it's ok to feel sad at Christmas, and how to beat festive FOMO. And find Nick Epley's "deep questions" conversation guide at drlauriesantos.com/deepquestions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

According to the science, it really is better to give than receive. Donating a dollar; sharing a kind word or lending someone a hand changes lives, but can also hugely boost your happiness. So we're teaming up with other podcasts from Hidden Brain to Revisionist History to ask you to give to a charity helping some of the poorest people around. We're calling it #PodsFightPoverty. Go to givedirectly.org/happinesslab right now and give whatever you can. And the first $500,000 we donate will be matched thanks to our friends at Giving Multiplier! Even a small donation will make you feel good and have a much larger impact on the world than you thought possible. To help inspire you, this special episode examines the science of giving and shares stories of heartwarming and impactful acts of kindness. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Thanksgiving - a good time to think about gratitude and being selfless. Concentrating on the things we have to be grateful for is a great way to boost your happiness. So thank the people who've done good things for you, and think of ways you can help others too. This circle of gratitude – the science suggests – will also make you a better friend to one of the most important people in your life… your future self. In a re-run of a 2020 episode, Dr Laurie investigates this effect with Northeastern University’s Professor David DeSteno – author of “Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion and Pride.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On National Stress Awareness Day we've pulled a popular episode from our archive. Stress can suck. Many of us drown in it - worrying about past events and fearing upcoming challenges. We even stress about feeling stressed. So how can we reset our relationship with stress - benefitting from its positives and avoiding those negatives? Dr Jenny Taitz has some effective tips to help you greet stress more healthily. A clinical psychologist and the author of Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes, Dr Jenny explains that if we think differently about challenges and tough situations and take action, then stress can become a friend rather than a foe. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Halloween isn't just costumes and candy. It's also a time when we indulge our interest in the scary and macabre. But there's also a taboo about gory horror movies and gruesome true crime shows - we often feel that being interested in blood and violence is unhealthy. The opposite is possibly true. Psychologist Coltan Scrivner (author of Morbidly Curious: A Scientist Explains Why We Can’t Look Away) says that watching a scary movie or listening to a murder podcast is perfectly natural and in fact teaches us valuable lessons to enhance our emotional resilience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Not many elite athletes talk openly about mental health, but five-time NBA All-Star Kevin Love is changing that. After a very public panic attack on the basketball court he was told to "snap out of it". But Kevin decided to discuss his "dark moments" of anxiety and depression and show that vulnerability is actually a strength. The sports star joins Dr. Laurie to talk about overcoming generational trauma, the pressures of toxic masculinity, and how speaking up can change the game for all of us. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every choice you make shapes your wellbeing - and the bigger the decision, the greater the impact. So when it comes to life-changing questions like where to live, who to marry, or which career to pursue, how can you tell if you’re making the best decision for your long-term happiness? Economists might argue that you should weigh up every single option carefully - like a gambler in a casino figuring out the odds of winning. But psychologist Barry Schwartz says you can't apply a formula to happiness. In this episode, he shares insights from his new book, Choose Wisely: Rationality, Ethics, and the Art of Decision-Making (co-authored with philosopher Richard Schuldenfrei), offering a more thoughtful and human approach to making life’s hardest choices. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us toil for long hours - and even take work home at the end of the day. That's bad for us in so many ways - but extensive research shows that it just doesn't have to be this way. Many of us could work a four-day week and still get everything done. Economist Juliet Schor has studied every kind of business - from breweries to ad agencies - and found that thoughtfully reducing work hours benefits employees, improves productivity and increases profits. She explains how you too can enjoy a three-day weekend with insights from her new book Four Days a Week: The Life-Changing Solution for Reducing Employee Stress, Improving Well-Being, and Working Smarter. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all behave irrationally. We pay for expensive gym memberships and only go once. We spend windfall cash on things we'd never buy with our salaries. We plan to do nice things in the distant future, but don't actually write them down in our calendars. These things can be bad for our happiness, so why do we do them? Economist Richard Thaler won a Nobel Prize for studying human irrationality - and explains why we all do odd things sometimes and how we can guard against being so irrational. Richard is joined by fellow behavioral economist Alex Imas to explain the updated insights from the classic book The Winner’s Curse: Behavioral Economics Anomalies Then and Now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.