Forgive Yourself

Sometimes the greatest freedom comes from learning to let go of what we cannot change. In this episode, I welcome TEDx speaker, author, and forgiveness advocate Michael B. Ling for a conversation about healing from childhood trauma, family betrayal, and broken relationships. Michael shares how years of unresolved anger shaped his life, the powerful lesson his grandmother taught him about forgiveness, and how faith, therapy, and self-compassion helped him begin to heal. We explore why forgiveness is a journey rather than a single decision, how to recognize the deeper pain behind our emotional reactions, and why forgiving someone doesn't mean allowing them back into our lives. What You'll Learn Why forgiveness is a decision, but healing is an ongoing process How unresolved childhood pain can influence adult relationships and emotional reactions Why forgiveness doesn't require an apology or reconciliation How faith, therapy, and self-compassion can support emotional healing The importance of setting boundaries…

The ways we learn to survive as children can follow us long after the danger has passed. In this deeply personal conversation, I sit down with Rich Dunning, author of “Silence Was My First Language,” to explore how a childhood shaped by abuse, violence, poverty, homelessness, and addiction continued to affect him well into adulthood. Rich shares how silence, overachievement, distrust, and alcohol became ways of coping with pain he had never addressed, and how addiction eventually brought him to a turning point that changed his life. We talk about sobriety, accountability, rebuilding trust, and what it means to forgive without excusing the harm that was done. Rich also shares how telling his story has helped him release shame, reclaim his voice, and turn his experiences into a source of hope and purpose for others. What You'll Learn How childhood survival patterns like silence, hypervigilance, and overachievement can continue into adulthood Why outward success doesn’t necessarily mean the wounds of the past…

An empty nest can bring more freedom, more time, and a deep sense of pride in the children you’ve raised. It can also bring grief, loneliness, and questions about who you are now. In this episode, I talk about why this transition can feel especially complicated for high-achieving women who have spent years caring for others, staying busy, and tying their sense of value to being needed. I share how to make space for difficult emotions without immediately trying to fix them, reconnect with your own wants and needs, and become curious about the woman emerging underneath all the roles you’ve carried. Rather than rushing to fill the empty space with another goal or accomplishment, I invite you to see this season as an opportunity to listen to yourself, redefine what makes a life meaningful, and discover who you’re becoming now that you have more room to hear yourself. What You'll Learn How being needed can become intertwined with your sense of identity and worth Why busyness, overthinking, or productivity can…

Finding your way back to yourself is about slowing down enough to hear what’s already within you, not doing more. In this episode, I sit down with best-selling author and entrepreneur Amber Vilhauer to explore what it means to reconnect with your inner light after years of people-pleasing, pushing through, and looking outside yourself for validation. Amber shares how her own experiences with rejection, self-sacrifice, and disconnection led her to rebuild her self-trust and how becoming a mother deepened that journey. We also discuss Amber’s new book, What Nature Teaches Us, co-authored with her son Clay, and the simple but powerful lessons nature offers about resilience, self-worth, compassion, and being present. What You'll Learn How people-pleasing and seeking external validation can disconnect you from your sense of self Why slowing down and spending time in nature can help you reconnect with your intuition How small, everyday choices can strengthen self-trust Why your accomplishments and productivity…

Getting sober, changing a behavior, or understanding your patterns doesn’t always mean you’ve healed from what’s underneath them. In this episode, I'm joined by Leif Bjelland, longtime recovery advocate and founder of Heroic Breath, to explore the difference between taking responsibility for your past and continuing to punish yourself for it. Leif shares how his own recovery from alcoholism eventually led him beyond sobriety and into meditation, breathwork, and a deeper understanding of self-compassion. Leif and I discuss the shame and repetitive thought patterns that can keep us stuck, why we often turn to busyness or other forms of escape to avoid what we’re feeling, and how embodied practices can help us move beyond simply understanding our patterns. This episode is an invitation to stop using your past against yourself and begin experiencing compassion, forgiveness, and healing in a new way. What You'll Learn Why stopping a behavior and truly healing are not always the same thing The difference between…

After heartbreak, it’s easy to look back and wonder: Why didn’t I see it sooner? Why did I stay? How did I let this happen? But taking responsibility for your past doesn’t have to mean carrying shame for it. In this episode, I sit down with somatic coach, educator, and writer Christina Elaine to explore the patterns that keep us stuck in self-blame and why healing isn’t about endlessly analyzing or fixing ourselves. Christina shares how our nervous systems can pull us toward familiar relationship dynamics, why insight alone may not be enough to change those patterns, and how new experiences can help us respond differently. What You'll Learn How to distinguish healthy self-responsibility from shame and self-blame Why familiar emotional dynamics can keep showing up in your relationships How somatic awareness can help you interrupt old patterns and choose a different response Why constantly analyzing yourself and others can sometimes make healing harder How to experience difficult emotions without immediately…

Sometimes the symptoms we’re trying to silence are actually asking us to pay attention. In this episode, Dr. Jen Hewson, doctor of natural medicine, ordained minister, author, and trauma survivor, explores the connection between our physical health, nervous system, emotions, relationships, and spiritual lives. Drawing from her own journey, Dr. Jen shares how years spent in survival mode can shape the way we feel, think, respond, and care for ourselves. Together, we discuss learning to recognize the difference between intuition and hypervigilance, quieting the body so we can hear ourselves more clearly, and finding compassion for the choices we once made simply to survive. What You'll Learn How prolonged stress and survival mode can affect the body, nervous system, and emotional well-being Why physical symptoms may be worth exploring as part of a larger whole-person picture How to begin distinguishing between intuition and a nervous system that is operating on high alert Why some behaviors we judge ourselves…

Relationships can become much harder to see clearly when our emotions, hopes, fears, and past experiences are involved. Sometimes we recognize the red flags or feel that something isn’t right long before we’re ready to admit it to ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and “Is He Worthy?” author Dave McLachlan for a conversation about bringing greater clarity and self-trust into the way we choose and navigate relationships. Dave shares how his own difficult divorce inspired him to create the Worthy Method, an unemotional relationship assessment designed to help women identify what truly matters to them, establish their non-negotiables, and look more objectively at whether a relationship aligns with the life they want. We explore why we can override our intuition, how emotions can cloud what we already know, and why recognizing our own relationship patterns is an important part of making different choices. What You'll Learn How defining your non-negotiables can help you make more aligned…

For years, Paul Drayton believed his struggles with addiction, relationships, and identity were simply who he was. It wasn't until a life-changing ADHD diagnosis at age 50, the end of his marriage, and the work of looking honestly at his past that he began to understand the deeper story behind his choices and find his way back to himself. In this heartfelt episode, I talk with the British actor, writer, and author of Ride or Die Trying about addiction, recovery, people-pleasing, late-diagnosed ADHD, and the quiet courage it takes to rebuild your life after losing yourself. Paul shares how years of self-medicating, public scrutiny, and searching for answers eventually led him to a place of self-understanding and peace. Get a copy of Paul’s debut Memoir, Ride or Die Trying: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/ride-or-die-trying-a-life-before-during-and-after-the-laughter-paul-drayton/470cc7e00d605b01 Learn more about Paul: https://pauldrayton.co.uk/ Follow Paul on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauldrayton1/…

Spiritual healing is about coming home to the divine wisdom that's already within you, not becoming someone new. In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with author, yoga teacher, and inner life coach Regan Caruthers to explore the connection between forgiveness and spiritual devotion, and the practices that help us remember who we truly are. Regan shares stories from her spiritual upbringing, how those early experiences shaped her life's work, and why she believes so many of us have been conditioned to disconnect from our true nature. We also explore intuition, divine guidance, embodiment, and the daily practices that help us return to love instead of fear. To learn more about Regan, visit her website: https://www.regancaruthers.com Get a copy of Regan's Memoir "Tragic Magic": https://regancaruthers.com/tragic-magic/ Book a free discovery call for Regan’s inner life coaching: https://regancaruthers.com/inner-life-coaching/ Follow Regan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/regancaruthers Subscribe to…

For years, I've heard—and even believed—that acceptance was the answer. But through my own experiences with caregiving, health challenges, and now recovering from hamstring surgery, I've discovered something important: sometimes acceptance feels impossibly far away. In this episode, I'm sharing the gentler path that has transformed how I approach healing. Instead of forcing ourselves to "just accept" painful realities, what if we first became aware, gave ourselves permission, practiced compassion, and then found our way to acceptance? We'll explore why busyness can become a way of avoiding ourselves, how self-judgment keeps us stuck, and why understanding isn't the same as approval. I'll also share how this season of slowing down has taught me that healing only happens one compassionate step at a time. What You'll Learn Why acceptance is often the result of healing, the beginning The seven-step pathway of awareness, permission, understanding, compassion, allowing, acceptance, and choice How busyness can…

Making the right decision doesn't always feel peaceful. Sometimes it feels lonely. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable. And sometimes it comes with guilt, grief, or the fear of disappointing the people you love. In this episode, I talk about one of the most important parts of emotional freedom: learning to trust your decisions and stay with yourself after you've made them. Discomfort isn't always a sign you're making the wrong choice, over-explaining often comes from seeking permission instead of communicating, and self-trust grows when you stop abandoning yourself in the face of someone else's reaction. Drawing from my own experiences—including leaving an unhealthy marriage and making the difficult decision to move my husband into memory care—I share how self-forgiveness transforms past mistakes into wisdom and how emotional freedom comes from choosing yourself without losing your compassion for others. What You'll Learn Why the right decision can still feel uncomfortable How to recognize the difference…

Why does guilt show up the moment you start honoring yourself? If you've ever set a boundary, said no, chosen rest, or spoken your truth only to immediately wonder if you were being selfish, this episode is for you. In this episode, I explore the difference between healthy guilt, which invites growth and repair, and old pattern guilt, which pulls you back into people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and outdated roles. I share why guilt often intensifies when you're growing, how your nervous system can mistake self-honoring choices for danger, and why someone else's disappointment doesn't automatically mean you've done something wrong. Through personal stories, compassionate insight, and reflection questions, you’ll learn a new way to respond to guilt; one that helps you stay connected to yourself instead of returning to old patterns. What You'll Learn The difference between healthy guilt and old pattern guilt and how to tell the difference Why guilt often appears when you're making healthier, self-honoring…

Emotional freedom doesn't begin with a dramatic life change—it begins with one honest moment. In this episode, I explore what it really means to stop leaving yourself behind. If you've spent years being the dependable one, keeping the peace, saying yes when you mean no, or putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own, it’s time to recognize the hidden ways you've disconnected from yourself. I share why self-forgiveness is essential to breaking old patterns and reclaiming your voice, and explore how resentment, exhaustion, and even menopause can reveal the places where you've been sacrificing yourself in the name of love, loyalty, or responsibility. Through gentle reflection questions, you'll discover that emotional freedom isn't about becoming someone new. It's about coming home to who you've always been. What You'll Learn How to recognize the subtle ways you may be leaving yourself behind in everyday life The connection between people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and losing touch with your own needs How…

Healing doesn't mean forgetting the past or pretending it didn't hurt. It means no longer allowing what you didn't receive to define who you are. In the final episode of this three-part series on the father wound, forgiveness, and healing, we explore what it truly means to move beyond awareness and begin rebuilding your relationship with yourself. I share how childhood experiences with an emotionally unavailable, critical, or inconsistent father can shape the way we love, trust, set boundaries, and view our own worth—and why healing isn't about waiting for someone else to finally become who you needed them to be. Instead, through gentle reflection questions and self-compassion, we can heal one small choice at a time. What You'll Learn Why healing the father wound doesn't require excusing the past or reconciling with your father How childhood beliefs about love and worth continue to influence your relationships and daily choices Why compassion is the foundation of lasting healing How to stop waiting for…

The father wound isn’t just about your father. It’s about the beliefs you formed about yourself when you didn’t feel fully seen, safe, protected, chosen, or emotionally met. In this second episode of my When Father’s Day Feels Complicated series, we’re exploring how those beliefs can quietly shape the way you love, trust, and choose long after childhood. I’ll share some of my own experiences with people-pleasing, self-doubt, and trying to earn love, while helping you recognize the patterns that may still be influencing your relationships today. We’ll talk about why familiar doesn’t always mean healthy, how the father wound can impact self-trust, and what it means to begin choosing from your worth instead of your wound. What You'll Learn Why the father wound goes beyond your relationship with your father The beliefs that often develop when emotional needs go unmet in childhood How the father wound can affect the way you love, trust, and choose in adulthood Why familiar relationship patterns can feel so…

Father’s Day can bring up more than celebration. It can stir grief, longing, anger, confusion, gratitude, or the ache of something that was never fully there. In the first episode of this three-part series, I explore the father wound and the impact of growing up with a father who may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, absent, critical, inconsistent, or simply unable to give you what you needed. I share parts of my own story and invite you to consider the difference between the father you had and the father you needed. Together, we will explore how unmet needs can shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves, the roles we adopt to earn love and approval, and the patterns that continue to show up in our relationships today. This episode is not about blaming fathers or forcing forgiveness. It’s about telling the truth about your experience, grieving what was missing, and beginning to release the belief that what you didn’t receive says anything about your worth. What You'll Learn The…

Better conversations don’t begin with perfect words—they begin with a more honest relationship with yourself. In this final episode of the self-trust series, I bring everything we've explored together and focus on what self-trust looks like in real life, especially in the conversations, decisions, and boundaries that feel the hardest. Too often, we overexplain, people-please, or abandon our own needs in an effort to keep the peace. But what if there was another way? I share a simple self-trust practice you can use before difficult conversations, major decisions, or moments when you're tempted to seek permission outside yourself. You'll learn how to recognize the difference between the voice of fear and the voice of self-trust, pause before reacting, and take the next honest step without abandoning yourself in the process. What You’ll Learn Why difficult conversations are often about more than communication How fear disguises itself as kindness, patience, or being "low maintenance" The difference between the…

Why do some decisions feel impossible to make? Why do certain conversations leave you overthinking for days? And why do you keep finding yourself people-pleasing, seeking reassurance, or ignoring what you know is true? Beneath avoidance, over-explaining, and self-doubt, there is often an unmet need asking for attention. In this episode, I continue our three-part series on self-trust by exploring the five hidden needs that shape our choices, conversations, and relationships. You’ll hear how needs for safety, belonging, validation, autonomy, and rest can quietly influence the way we show up in our lives. Instead of judging these patterns, I invite you to approach them with compassion and curiosity so you can begin making choices that are aligned with your truth rather than driven by fear. What You’ll Learn The difference between seeking advice and trusting your own inner knowing How the need for safety can keep you stuck in indecision and fear of making the wrong choice Why belonging and connection sometimes…

Self-trust is not about having all the answers or never feeling afraid. It’s about learning to stay connected to yourself while taking the next honest step forward. In this first episode of a special three-part series on self-trust, I explore why so many of us keep searching for more advice, more reassurance, and more opinions when deep down, we already know what feels true. I unpack the patterns of overthinking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-doubt that pull us away from our own inner knowing. Old survival patterns can make even small decisions feel overwhelming, but self-trust is rebuilt one honest moment at a time, and I invite you to stop outsourcing your inner authority and begin reconnecting with your own truth. What You’ll Learn Why overthinking and indecision are often rooted in fear The difference between seeking support and seeking permission How old survival patterns can keep you disconnected from your own needs The role self-forgiveness plays in rebuilding trust with yourself How to…

There are some wounds that change the course of a life, and some healing journeys that change it again. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, I sit down with author and memoirist Heather Conn to talk about surviving childhood incest, the long and layered process of healing, and the unexpected path that eventually led her toward forgiveness. Heather shares how years of therapy, body-based healing, creativity, meditation, writing, and spiritual practice helped her reconnect with herself after trauma disconnected her from her body, emotions, and relationships. Together, we talk about the difference between forgiveness and condoning harm, the complexity of family relationships, the courage it takes to tell the truth, and why healing is never linear. Heather also opens up about the backlash she received after publishing her memoir, “No Letter in Your Pocket,” and why she chose compassion anyway. Please take care of yourself as you move through this episode. What You’ll Learn Why forgiveness is not the same…

So many women carry a quiet promise inside themselves: ‘I will be different from my mother.’ Maybe you grew up feeling unseen, emotionally alone, criticized, or responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And when you became a mother yourself, you vowed your children would never feel what you felt. But what happens when that promise turns into pressure? In this episode, I talk about the emotional weight of trying to be the mom you didn’t have and the exhaustion that comes from believing you have to get motherhood “right” in order to break the cycle. I share parts of my own story, the promises I made as a young mother, the wounds that followed me into parenting, and how fear and perfectionism can quietly shape the way we show up for our children. We also explore the role of the inner child, why motherhood can feel so emotionally intense when you’re still healing your own childhood wounds, and how repair, awareness, and self-forgiveness matter more than perfection ever will. What You’ll Learn Why trying to be…

Mother guilt is something so many women carry, but rarely say out loud. In this episode, I talk about the kind of guilt that shows up in everyday moments. The guilt of not being present enough, patient enough, or doing enough. The guilt that lingers from the past and the pressure we place on ourselves in the present. But this conversation is not about judging yourself or trying to “just let it go.” It’s about understanding where that guilt comes from, separating it from shame, and beginning to meet yourself with more compassion. What You’ll Learn The difference between guilt and shame and why it matters for healing Why mother guilt feels so personal and tied to your sense of self How to identify what you actually feel guilty about without turning it into your identity What healthy repair looks like and when it is or isn’t possible How to stop punishing yourself and begin moving forward with more honesty and care Resources: Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are…

There are losses we talk about, and then there are the ones we carry quietly. In this episode, I sit down with pregnancy loss coach Shruti Trivedi to talk about a kind of grief that so often goes unspoken. Pregnancy loss is something many experience, but few feel safe enough to fully process. What gets left behind is not just sadness, but guilt, shame, and the constant loop of “what if.” Shruti shares her own story of multiple losses and what it looked like to carry that grief silently for years. We talk about the emotional weight women hold, the pressure to move on, and the moment everything shifted when she finally allowed herself to be supported. This is a conversation about learning how to stop blaming yourself for things you were never meant to carry and finding a way to move forward without leaving your loss behind. What You’ll Learn Why pregnancy loss often leads to intense guilt and self-blame How “what if” thoughts keep women stuck in cycles of pain How silence can be more healing than saying the…

Giving comes naturally. Receiving does not. In this episode, I’m diving into why receiving can feel so uncomfortable, especially for high-achieving, high-functioning women who are used to being the ones who give, support, and hold everything together. This isn’t just about brushing off compliments. It shows up in your relationships, your work, your business, and even your ability to receive success, opportunities, and financial growth. Receiving requires vulnerability, and if your nervous system learned that it wasn’t safe to be seen, supported, or open, then of course receiving feels unfamiliar. But it isn’t something you earn, it’s something you learn to allow. What You’ll Learn Why receiving feels uncomfortable (and what your nervous system has to do with it) How overgiving can actually block success, support, and recognition The connection between worthiness and your ability to receive Small, everyday ways to practice receiving without overwhelm How to build a sense of safety around being seen,…

I didn’t lose myself all at once. It happened slowly, quietly, in ways I didn’t recognize until my body started speaking louder than I could ignore. In this episode, I’m sharing something I’m not just teaching, I’m living. We’re talking about what it really looks like to lose yourself while taking care of everyone else, and how patterns like people-pleasing and codependency can feel loving on the outside, but are actually forms of self-abandonment on the inside. I open up about my own journey through codependency, relationships, burnout, and health challenges, and how my body ultimately forced me to stop and listen. I began to understand that my body wasn’t betraying me—it was trying to get my attention. What You’ll Learn What codependency really is How people-pleasing can turn into self-abandonment How your body communicates when you’re ignoring yourself Why burnout and chronic stress often have deeper emotional patterns underneath Simple ways to begin reconnecting with yourself, even in the middle of a…

When we hear the word dementia, most of us think of loss. Decline. Goodbye. But what if that’s not the full story? In this conversation, I sit down with Marilyn Raichle, who gently challenges everything we think we know about dementia. After being told her whole life to "walk away" when Alzheimer's came, Marilyn, Marilyn did the opposite. She stayed. And what she discovered changed everything. What began as resistance and obligation became something deeply meaningful. Through art, presence, and an unexpected partnership with her mother, Marilyn found connection, creativity, and even joy in a place most of us fear. If you’re walking alongside someone with dementia—or holding regret about how you’ve shown up—this conversation will meet you with compassion, perspective, and hope. What You’ll Learn Why shifting from “caregiver” to “care partner” changes everything How to connect with someone living with dementia (even when it feels hard) The powerful role of art, music, and shared moments in creating connection…

So many of us have spent our lives outsourcing our authority, worth, and wisdom to expectations, roles, and other people. In this episode, we explore how to bring it back to yourself. In this conversation, I sit down with the deeply insightful Sheila Delaney to talk about what it really means to come back home to yourself, especially after burnout, chronic stress, or years of putting everyone else first. Sheila shares her powerful story of navigating a full-body shutdown, chronic illness, and the moment that changed everything. She also shares the question that led her back to self-trust. What You’ll Learn The three pillars of self-trust How high-achieving women unknowingly burn themselves out The connection between stress, the body, and emotional patterns Small, practical ways to rebuild trust with yourself (starting today) Correction: In the episode, Sheila states that 70-80% of women are autoimmune sufferers, per Dr Gabor Matè. The accurate statistic is that 70-80% of autoimmune sufferers are women, per…

One of the most complicated relationships we have is the relationship with our own body. When chronic illness, pain, injury, or unexpected physical changes show up, many of us quietly begin blaming ourselves or believing our bodies have betrayed us. In this episode, I share how the journey through nerve-damage and chronic pain forced me to confront the harsh inner voices that judged, blamed, and tried to “fix” what felt broken. What I discovered instead was a powerful shift: healing isn’t about fighting your body, it’s about learning to work in partnership with it. Through powerful reflections, compassionate reframes, and practical exercises, I introduce the idea of the “courtroom inside the mind,” the hidden grief that comes with physical change, and how self-forgiveness can transform the way we relate to our bodies. What You’ll Learn Why chronic illness and physical changes often trigger self-blame and inner criticism The three invisible griefs that often accompany chronic pain or illness Why self-blame…

What if the real healing begins the moment we stop fighting our bodies? In this compassionate conversation, I sit down with Tami Stackelhouse—health coach, founder of the International Fibromyalgia Coaching Institute, and host of the Fibromyalgia Podcast—to talk about self-forgiveness in the face of chronic illness. Tami shares her personal journey with lifelong health challenges and fibromyalgia, and we explore what it really means to move from war to partnership with your body. We talk about perfectionism, lost capacity, relationship shame, asking for help, and how learning who you truly are, instead of who you think you “should” be, can become the foundation for healing. If you’ve ever felt betrayed by your body, whispered “Why can’t you just work right?,” or carried shame about not being the mom, partner, friend, or professional you once were, this episode is for you. What You’ll Learn Why self-forgiveness is essential in the chronic illness journey Where shame shows up most powerfully (especially for…

“I thought I’d be further along by now.” That’s a sentence I hear all the time, and if I’m honest, it’s one I’ve said to myself, too. In this episode, I’m talking about the quiet ache so many women carry: the feeling of being behind in life. Behind in our careers. Behind in healing. Behind in love, confidence, health, or fulfillment. On the outside, we may look capable and responsible—often the ones everyone else relies on. But inside, there’s a voice whispering I should have figured this out by now. I want to gently explore where that voice comes from. How the feeling of being behind is often grief in disguise. Grief for the life we imagined. Grief for choices we wish we’d made differently. Grief for years spent surviving instead of thriving. And I talk about how self-forgiveness isn’t about excusing or pretending, it’s about softening our relationship with the past and integrating it with compassion. What You’ll Learn Why the feeling of being “behind” is often rooted in invisible timelines How grief can…

You don’t have to fix yourself first to deserve your own kindness. So many high-achieving women I work with don’t hate themselves…but they don’t really like themselves, either. They tolerate themselves. They manage themselves. They critique themselves. And often, they live in a quiet, ongoing relationship with judgment. Self-judgment doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it sounds reasonable. Motivating even. It can sound like: “Why am I like this?” “I should be further along by now.” “I know better than this.” But underneath that voice is often a tired, overwhelmed part of us that simply wants understanding. In this episode, I share where that inner critic comes from, how it once tried to protect us, and why being harder on ourselves rarely creates real change. What You’ll Learn Why self-judgment is often something we learned, not something we chose How your inner critic may have originally developed as a survival strategy Why constant self-correction keeps your nervous system from ever fully resting The subtle…

When we think about forgiveness, we usually think about other people. But some of the deepest resentment we carry is self-directed, and it often hides as guilt, self-criticism, exhaustion, regret, or a constant feeling that something just isn’t quite right. In this episode, I walk through the 10 most common things we struggle to forgive ourselves for, especially as women in midlife: how we showed up (or didn’t), staying too long or leaving too soon, health and caregiving decisions, repeating old patterns, choosing others over ourselves, and grieving the life we thought we’d have by now. This isn’t about “doing forgiveness right,” rushing to closure, or forcing compassion before you’re ready. It’s about telling the truth kindly, creating safety in your nervous system, and understanding that forgiveness comes after witnessing—not before. What You’ll Learn Why self-forgiveness is often harder than forgiving others What forgiveness is and isn’t, and why timing matters more than effort How the nervous system…

When we think about forgiveness, we usually think about other people. But some of the deepest resentment we carry is self-directed, and it often hides as guilt, self-criticism, exhaustion, regret, or a constant feeling that something just isn’t quite right. In this episode, I walk through the 10 most common things we struggle to forgive ourselves for, especially as women in midlife: how we showed up (or didn’t), staying too long or leaving too soon, health and caregiving decisions, repeating old patterns, choosing others over ourselves, and grieving the life we thought we’d have by now. This isn’t about “doing forgiveness right,” rushing to closure, or forcing compassion before you’re ready. It’s about telling the truth kindly, creating safety in your nervous system, and understanding that forgiveness comes after witnessing—not before. What You’ll Learn Why self-forgiveness is often harder than forgiving others What forgiveness is and isn’t, and why timing matters more than effort How the nervous system…

In a world that feels increasingly uncertain, overwhelming, and emotionally charged, how do we stay rooted without bypassing what’s real? In this episode, I explore what it truly means to hold two truths at the same time: acknowledging fear, grief, and instability while also choosing presence, agency, and inner steadiness. Drawing from my personal caregiving journey, recent moments of self-doubt, and a powerful realization sparked by therapy, I reflect on how easily our nervous systems get hijacked and how quickly my inner critic can drown out my wise voice. This conversation is an invitation to come home to yourself. I share the simple, grounding practices I’ve returned to in order to rebuild a foundation that doesn’t collapse when fear shows up—one breath, one choice, one moment at a time. What You’ll Learn How an activated nervous system fuels comparison, perfectionism, and inner criticism Why “fantasy thinking” can keep you stuck and disconnected from reality How to recognize and disengage from the inner…

Sometimes healing doesn’t come from pushing harder, but from allowing ourselves to receive. In this episode, I share my experience at Miraval Resort in Arizona and the unexpected insights that emerged after a season of caregiving, grief, betrayal, and deep self-awareness. Through equine therapy and the art of Kintsugi, I reflect on perception, self-trust, and what it means to love ourselves deeply without needing external validation. Along the way, I offer gentle practices to help you integrate your own awareness and “aha” moments. What You’ll Learn Why we often mistake self-protection for self-trust How perception can deepen—or ease—our suffering What horses revealed about being in your head vs. your body Why not everything broken is meant to be fixed How letting others help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human Simple ways to practice receiving, rest, and self-compassion Resources: Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are you struggling with a situation or a…

Two years ago, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life: moving my husband into memory care. Last year, I shared the raw shock, grief, and guilt of that first year. This episode is about what the second year has taught me. I thought year two would feel easier. More settled. Instead, it brought new crises, a nervous system stuck on high alert, and an unexpected moment that finally cracked my grief wide open. What followed was a deeper reckoning with loss, with old patterns of over-responsibility, and with the belief that love must be earned through self-sacrifice. This is a reflection on how grief changes over time, how the body decides when it’s safe to feel, and what it looks like to slowly let go without abandoning love, and without abandoning myself.. In this episode, you’ll hear about: How grief can shift—and intensify—in the second year Why my body stayed in survival mode longer than I expected How caregiving can awaken old “good girl” and people-pleasing patterns What helped me begin letting go…

What happens when we stop outsourcing our knowledge and begin listening to the wisdom that’s been living inside us all along? Brenda is joined by somatic and expressive arts therapist Cathy Williams to explore what it truly means to come home to your body after trauma, burnout, and self-abandonment. Cathy shares her personal healing journey, from living in her head and overriding her intuition, to reconnecting with her body as a source of safety, guidance, and truth. Together, they unpack how psychological abuse, people-pleasing, and over-intellectualizing can disconnect us from ourselves and how somatic awareness, creative expression, and gentle self-forgiveness can guide us back. This episode is an invitation to soften, slow down, and remember: your body has always been trying to protect you. In this episode, you’ll hear about: How intuition speaks through the body Why forgiveness often starts with self-trust The role of somatic and creative healing in trauma recovery How to rebuild a loving relationship…

In this deeply vulnerable episode, Brenda opens up about a powerful and unexpected moment in her caregiving journey with her husband, who lives in memory care due to dementia. What began as shock and heartbreak became a profound awakening, revealing a pattern so many high-achieving, caring women carry quietly into adulthood: the Good Girl Syndrome. Brenda explores how early conditioning to be “good” evolves into people-pleasing, over-functioning, emotional suppression, resentment, burnout, and the slow abandonment of our own needs. Through raw storytelling and compassionate reflection, she shares how this pattern showed up for her in real time and how it cracked her open to a deeper layer of grief, truth, and healing. This episode is an invitation to gently notice where you may be carrying too much, silencing yourself, or equating your worth with how much you do for others and to begin loosening those patterns with honesty, self-compassion, and courage. Ready to break free from the good girl pattern? This…

Edit B. Kiss, a holistic mentor, success habit coach, and humanitarian award-winning author is joining me to share her story of transformation, which is as grounded as it is spiritual. After 15 years as a petroleum engineer, Edit followed a deep inner calling that led her from spreadsheets to source energy, from panic attacks to peace. Together, we talk about trauma, triggers, forgiveness, and why mindfulness is not the first step in healing. Edit shares how she learned to recognize synchronicities, how the body reveals unresolved emotional patterns, and why true change requires tending to the mind, body, and soul. We also explore her 3P and 5-Step methods for closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. If you're navigating the unknown or feeling pulled toward something new, this conversation is a powerful reminder that healing is possible—and closer than you think. What You’ll Learn How Edit moved from a highly logical engineering career into intuitive, heart-centered healing Why…

I sat down with author and executive coach Laing Rikkers to explore how quiet rituals, creativity, and the natural world can become anchors during our deepest seasons of loss. When Laing’s younger sister died suddenly just months before the world shut down, she found herself searching for a way through overwhelming grief. What began as simple morning walks and unfiltered “morning pages” soon unfolded into Morning Leaves, her beautiful collection of plant-inspired poems and reflections. Laing shares how slowing down helped her reconnect with herself, how creativity became a lifeline, and how she gently released the guilt she carried around her sister’s passing. She also offers the powerful checklist she uses to return to balance when life feels heavy: sleep, eat, steep, walk it, talk it, write it, and pay it forward. What You’ll Learn How simple daily rituals can create space for healing Why connecting with nature helps regulate the nervous system and ease emotional overwhelm How creativity (even if you’ve…

Ever wonder how the roles you played growing up impact your life and relationships today? In this episode, I break down the six most common family dynamics and the archetypal roles we fall into. I share how self-awareness is the game changer that lets you set healthy boundaries and choose who you want to be moving forward. Remember, your family story doesn’t have to define your future. You have the power to give yourself permission to change, grow, and find more peace. Resources: Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60 Brenda’s Website/Links Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn

In this episode, I talk with the luminous Harper A. Bailey, whose debut memoir It Was Her poured straight into my heart. We talk about the dream that sparked her writing, the spiritual co-creation behind her pen name, and the moment she realized her story wasn’t just hers, it was meant to unlock stories in others. Harper shares how grief became both her wilderness and her teacher, and how processing isn’t about doing, but about learning to be with ourselves again. This conversation is all about reclaiming the wholeness we’ve always carried but sometimes forget. If you’ve ever felt stuck between the pain of the past and the hope of what could be, this episode is a reminder that you can return home to yourself at any time. What You’ll Learn How grief can become a doorway back to yourself, not a destination you’re meant to stay in Why Harper chose a pen name and how it unlocked a deeper spiritual and creative voice The difference between doing the work and actually processing your emotions What it looks like to…

If you’re the one who holds it all together—for your family, your friends, your business—but quietly struggles to ask for help yourself, this episode is for you. I know that story well. For years, I prided myself on being the strong one, the fixer, the problem solver. Until my body and spirit finally broke down. In this conversation, I’m exploring why asking for help feels unsafe for so many high-achieving women, and how that belief was formed long before adulthood. I talk about how childhood conditioning creates the “I should be able to handle it” mindset, and what happens in our nervous system when we even think about reaching out. Most importantly, I’ll share what it looks like to rewrite that story and see asking for help not as weakness, but as wisdom. You are worthy of support. You are allowed to have needs. And when you let yourself be held, you don’t lose your strength—you reclaim your wholeness. What You’ll Learn The childhood roots of our resistance to asking for help How “being the strong one” can…

I’ve always believed that forgiveness is the bridge between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming, and today’s conversation is proof of that. I’m joined by Riana Malia, a board-certified neurosomatic practitioner and creator of the Clear to Create method, who helps high-achieving women break free from painful relationship patterns and finally claim the love that matches the life they’ve built. Riana shares her powerful story of betrayal, loss, and rebuilding from the ground up, and how learning to release stored trauma at the cellular level opened the door to deep peace, purpose, and extraordinary love. We talk about why self-forgiveness is often the hardest kind, how to stop repeating old stories, and why true healing begins when you make the invisible visible. If you’ve ever carried shame, guilt, or old pain that keeps you stuck, this episode will remind you: you don’t have to relive the past to release it, you just have to be willing to clear it. What You’ll Learn Why we must clear before we can create,…

Sometimes, it takes everything falling apart to discover what’s been broken all along. In this episode, I talk with Bryan Power, who went from a “pretty good” marriage to complete collapse before finding the tools that helped him rebuild his relationship stronger than ever. We talk about what really causes relationships to unravel, how childhood wounds and attachment styles shape the way we love, and why forgiveness—for ourselves and each other—is often the key to true healing. Bryan shares how learning Integrated Attachment Theory transformed his marriage, and how facing his own patterns helped him find peace, clarity, and connection again. If you’ve ever hit rock bottom in love or wondered if something broken can truly be made whole, this story will remind you: sometimes the breakdown is the breakthrough. What You’ll Learn: How childhood trauma silently shapes your attachment style Why emotional “no contact” can be a powerful tool for healing The six core elements of Integrated Attachment Theory What true…

You’re confident, capable, and in control…until it comes to love. At work, you lead with authority. At home, you walk on eggshells. You know how to speak up in the boardroom, but in relationships, your voice gets quieter. In this episode, I’m opening up about how high-achieving women like us lose our voice in love—and how we can reclaim it without losing our softness. I’ll share the five subtle signs that you’ve started to silence yourself, the deeper reasons why vulnerability feels unsafe, and the small daily practices that helped me reconnect to my truth. You’ll hear about the power of micro-boundaries, journaling, and inner-child work, and why learning to speak up with compassion is one of the most radical acts of self-forgiveness we can make. Resources: Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how…

What happens when the life you built for decades disappears in a single moment? When you go to bed a wife and wake up a stranger to your own story? In this episode, I sit down with divorce recovery coach Beth Carroll, who knows that pain all too well. After her 25-year marriage ended without warning, Beth faced the shock, grief, and loss of identity that so many women silently carry. But through subconscious reprogramming and somatic healing, she learned that transformation doesn’t have to take years—it can begin in weeks. Together, we explore what it means to release shame, let go of self-blame, and stop replaying the past so you can finally start asking, ‘What’s next for me?’ Follow Beth on Instagram and Threads: @bethcarrollcoaching Get 65% off of Beth's Belief Breakthrough Audit with code FORGIVE: bethcarrollcoaching.store/shop/beliefbreakthroughaudit Resources: Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life?…

Today, I’m sharing something deeply personal as well as common, especially for those of us who pride ourselves on being strong, capable, and independent. We’re exploring the hidden cost of hyper independence, that survival strategy that helps us feel safe but often leaves us lonely, exhausted, and disconnected from others. I’ll walk you through how healthy independence can tip over into hyper independence, driven by childhood wounds, betrayals, or cultural conditioning. Together, we'll look at how keeping people at arm’s length may protect us from disappointment but also shuts out intimacy and support. I’ll offer you reflective questions and simple, practical steps to help soften your emotional armor, receive support, and communicate your needs so you can keep your strength and independence while welcoming deeper connection into your life. If you recognize these patterns in yourself or someone you love, I invite you to join me for this honest conversation. Let’s take a breath, grab a cup of tea or coffee,…

"We all have needs, right? They're not selfish. They're not wrong, and they are not a weakness. They're part of being human." This solo episode dives into something that quietly shapes our emotions, choices, and relationships - unmet needs. Many of our adult struggles stem from basic human requirements that went unfulfilled, often dating back to childhood. If you grew up in a home where safety felt uncertain, you may carry a deeper need for security. If you were only praised for achievements, you may hunger for recognition and validation. If expressing needs was labeled selfish, you may struggle with autonomy or even resting without guilt. I share Sarah's story - a successful woman who looked like she had it all together but came to me exhausted and resentful. As a parentified child, she learned that being loved meant serving others first. Her healing began when she named her unmet need: "I need recognition for who I am, not just what I do." The episode explores five common unmet needs: safety and security,…